The heart wants what it wants
by shannt27
Summary: Bella has returned to Forks to help her father after he suffered a heart attack. While at a bonfire, she sees the man that will rock her world. Scared of what she is feeling but knowing that he is what she wants, she pursues him. A sweet, coming together story of two people, hurt in the past, find their one true love.
1. Chapter 1

The day dawned sunny and windy. Perfect day for a beach outing which she agreed to attend with her friend Angela. She had only been back in town a couple of days when they decided to get together. This was exactly what she needed to relax. The last couple of months had been stressful packing up her dead husband's possessions. He had passed away 4 months ago in a car accident. Thankfully he had a large life insurance policy to make sure she was taken care of. If he was nothing else, he was a planner.

Rick was her second husband. Her first husband, Edward, decided after 6 years of marriage that he was gay and ran off with the pool boy. Since he was loaded, he paid her a nice settlement to sign the divorce papers without much fuss. It took her over a year to regain her confidence in herself and start dating. Rick was a financial planner at the firm she hired to help with the settlement she was given. She never wanted to go through the stress and worry of not knowing how she was going to survive when Edward asked for a divorce. He wouldn't let her work so she had no experience and no money. To her Rick was plainly straight, a bit boring, but perfect in that she knew he would never leave her. Unfortunately fate had other ideas. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, Rick was on his way home when the bridge he was on collapsed. 25 people died that day and he was one of them. She felt guilty that his death didn't hit her harder emotionally but she wasn't with him due to a great love. She was with him because he was safe and stable.

Now at the ripe age of 35, she was single and alone. Moving back to her hometown was something she never had considered, but her father had just suffered a heart attack and needed help. So she packed up her life and headed to Forks. While shopping for healthier food, she ran into Angela. They had kept in touch mainly but not like they should. Angela invited her to a beach party and bonfire down on First Beach in La Push. She remembered going there once or twice when she was growing up but that was all. Spending time in the sun and relaxing sounded like heaven after spending the last two days unpacking and getting Charlie settled. She had invited him to go with her but apparently that area held bad memories for him so he opted to stay home.

Angela came and picked her up around 10am. They wanted to get as much sun as possible today since it was a rare sunny day in Forks. They chatted about inconsequential things on the way. She was in no mood to dig deep today. Arriving at the beach, they laid their towels done and relaxed. Time had no meaning to her right now. The sun and waves washed away her anxiety and stress. Now she remembered what she liked about the beach. It was so peaceful that you could momentarily forget your problems. After eating a bit of the lunch they brought, she decided to just walk and enjoy the water. She happened upon a log that looked old but sturdy and decided to sit.

Looking out at the ocean, she tried to put her feelings into order. She knew she was fine to be alone and thought that maybe it was time to stay alone. She had always relied on a man to support her and never learned to support herself. She needed to take this time to find herself and vowed that she would learn how to be happy with herself. Edward was her first real love and he destroyed her when he left. He never gave her hints that he was in anyway unhappy with their life. True they never had kids but he had told her that he wanted to make sure they were ready before having a baby. They married right out of high school so he felt that he wanted to see the world and experience life before settling down and having kids. At no time did he ever seem like anything was missing. Apparently she missed something because the entire time he was only pretending. Ok so their marriage wasn't the intense love that she always thought a marriage was to be. In fact she honestly thought there was something wrong with her because she had never had those intense feelings for anyone. She loved Edward but was more hurt that she wasn't enough then that he left her. He destroyed her self-confidence but not her heart. Rick was stable to where she knew that she wouldn't be hurt and he slowly gave her confidence back. He was always polite and told her how pretty she was, complimenting her taste in clothes. But again there was no intense passion there. Maybe she was deficient in that area. She might just be that one person that couldn't feel passion and intense love. Maybe she was just dead inside.

Deciding she had enough self-reflection, she headed back to where Angela was. As she got closer, she noticed a huge man standing near her fiend and talking. Angela had told her she was dating one of the men that lived down on the res so she figured this was him. Angela introduced him as Embry and she found him very pleasant to talk to. He was incredibly funny and very smart. He told them the bonfire was starting down a bit on the beach so they grabbed their stuff and took off walking. She noticed a group of large men with women standing at a table arranging food. The fire was blazing and music was booming.

Deciding to see if they women needed help, she headed towards the women, ignoring the men around the fire. The women introduced themselves as Emily, who was married to Quil, Leah, who was married to Sam, Kim, who was married to Jared, and Rachel, who was married to Paul. There were a few kids running here and there they belonged to them also. She decided not even to try to remember who went with who cause she would never remember. She found herself really liking the women but especially Rachel whose personality was very fiery but with a sweet tone. As she stood there talking to her the noise level increased and then she heard a sound that almost stole her breath. The laugh was large and booming but the tone was husky and deep. She had to know where the sound came from so she turned towards the fire and saw a man taller than the rest with his back to her. She knew that this was not one of the husbands and was very curious to know who he was. As she decided to ask Rachel who he was, she noticed he was turning around. There was no more breath in her lungs as she met the deepest brown eyes she had ever seen. Fire hit her veins and her stomach dropped out. Maybe she wasn't dead emotionally after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - I own nothing. This is for my personal enjoyment only.

Thanks so much for the followers that have liked my story enough to read it. This is my first time posting to Fanfiction and I would love any and all feedback if possible. Let me know your thoughts please.

Chapter 2 – His story

Today was a day of reflection for him. Waking up from a dream of his past, he couldn't shut off the memories. His life was simple and normal when he was younger until he reached the age of 11. That is when what he liked to call "the series of disasters" started. His parents were coming home from their anniversary dinner when they were hit head on by a drunk driver. His mom didn't make it and the accident left his father in a coma. For months his father remained on life support. Finally 6 months later he woke up with no memory and no use of his legs. The doctors determined that neither would ever be fixed. His father would never regain the memories or the use of his legs. In essence his father would always be a grown man with the brain of a toddler forever bound to a wheelchair. At the tender age of 12, he became his father's caregiver. You would think having two older sisters would help but neither wanted to be bother with the work or the stress of seeing their father like this. When they were old enough, they left the reservation and he was left to take care of his father on his own. The only good thing that came out of the accident was that the driver worked for a major corporation that didn't want the publicity of the accident. They decided to settle out of court and provided enough to get him and his father through. Thankfully he was able to find a nurse who would come during the day so that he would be able to finish school. Several people told him to put his father in a home and live his life, but he refused. He was his father's son and he would take care of him on his own. The pain and loneliness at times became too much and he would cry himself to sleep. Cry for the loss of his parents, cry for the loss of his childhood, and cry for someone to take care of him.

As the years passed, things settled and he found a good routine where soon the care of his father was second nature. He finally felt they would be ok. That was until she came to the reservation. Nessie moved to the res his senior year and by the end of 1st semester, they were inseparable. He had not thought of girls since he was so busy taking care of his father but when he came across her crying that first day, he felt something tug at his heart. Things were not easy between them – she came with her own baggage – but he thought his years of taking care of his father prepared him for taking care of her. She never liked answering questions about her past and if he got too close she would use sex to distract him. Nessie was very moody and would disappear for hours without letting him know where she was. By the time she would reappear he would be so frantic that her just being ok was enough. By the time he wanted answers she would distract him again. He thought they were doing fine and all was well but found he was living in a dream world. On the night of graduation, Nessie left and never returned. Her body was found on the edge of the forest strangled. No one knew for sure what happened and no one was ever arrested. He was devastated and felt that he let her down. He was the one called to identify the body and when he returned that night he found his father had passed away in his sleep. His world collapsed and his heart shut down. Everyone and everything he knew was gone. His purpose for living was gone. For 6 years this was all he knew what to do and now he was no longer someone's caretaker. He was lost.

Guess that is why he made such an easy target for Mia. She was Nessie's cousin and arrived for the funeral. I guess you would say she saw an easy mark in him so she sunk in her claws. To him she was a dream. She needed him to take care of her and without knowing anything different, he fell for her. She moved into his house and his bed within a month of the funeral. She used his sweet heart against him and took him for what he had. He found work at a local garage and found he had a knack for putting things together. Every vehicle that was brought to him left better then when it was new. His talent spread throughout the res and Forks even as far as Port Angeles and the business grew. The owner of the business decided he wanted to retire so he made an offer on the garage and with his best friend, bought it. He was making a ton of money but Mia was spending it faster than he could make it. The little red house fell into disrepair but she was covered in new clothes and fine jewelry. Friends tried to tell him that she was using him but he would ignore them. They didn't know her like he did. She was in pain and this is how she coped. One day Mia met him at the garage and told him she had a surprise. She was pregnant. He didn't understand how that happened since they always used protection and she was on birth control. In his eyes, it was just meant to be. So he bought a ring and asked her to marry him. Of course she said yes but wanted to wait until the baby was born. He was working the day she went into labor so the baby was born before he made it to the hospital. When he went to see "his daughter" he noticed the white skin and light hair. He was very confused because they were both native. He confronted Mia and finally got her to admit that she had been having an affair for quite some time with a guy from Forks. She told him the only reason that she was with him was for the money. But the father decided he wanted her and the baby so she was leaving him.

From that moment he decided he was finished with women. The 2 that he let into his life had left him shredded and his heart torn to pieces. He gave them everything and received nothing in return. No more – he would never play the sucker again. He just felt trapped and suffocated by the thought that his whole life was lived for other people. He never did anything for himself. His childhood was lived for his father, his senior year was for Nessie, and now the last 6 years were for Mia. He was tired of being used and abused. He wanted out. He wanted to see more of the world then his tiny corner. So that is what he did. He left and traveled with some of the leftover settlement. He would find a place that he liked, do odd jobs to make the money stretch, settle for a bit and then move on when the time was right. Before he realized he spent 10 years on the road. He had grown and matured more then he would have had he stayed home. He found himself on the road and was ready to head back to the reservation. He had kept in touch with his friend Embry the time he traveled and was offered his job back at his garage when he returned. It was time to head home.

He had arrived home a couple of days ago and had been too busy settling in so he had yet to see his friends. They decided to get together tonight at a bonfire so that he could catch up and meet Embry's sweetheart. He was talking to his friends around the bonfire that night catching up on everything that had been going on that year. Embry was telling him what was happening at the garage when Angela walked up. He felt that he was intruding so after being introduced he decided to get some food. He turned around to head to the food table, when he locked eyes with the deepest, honey brown eyes he had ever seen. He felt a punch to the gut as the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He had never had this type of response to a woman and honestly it scared the crap out of him. He watched as her eyes widened and breath quicken as she met his eyes. The blush that stole across her cheeks heated his blood and sent all of it rushing south. Dear God what was going on? On the road he had taken a few lovers but no one had ever made him feel like this. This was something he didn't want to happen. He didn't want these feelings. He didn't do relationships anymore and even thinking of using this beautiful creature for a one night stand was repulsive to him. He couldn't stay here where she was and not talk to her. He had to get away. So he did the one thing he was familiar with – He ran.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer - I do not own anything or anyone in this story. It is for my amusement only.

Sorry I know this a short chapter but I had to get it in. I am still waiting for reviews please.

Chapter 3 – The beginning of their story.

Bella stood there stunned. He turned and walked away. This would not happen. She never felt like this and she wasn't willing to let the feeling go. She turned to the girls and found out who he was and where he worked. Deciding that her car was in sudden need for an oil change, she was determined that he was not getting away that fast. She would talk to Angela, get her to talk to Embry, and get as much information from him about Jacob for her. She did wonder what the scared rabbit look was for before he took off though. She had never had that effect on a man before.

Jacob took off down the beach with Embry hot on his tail. Embry never saw Jacob look so frightened and was determined to see what was going on. He just got his friend back and wasn't about to let some girl run him off again. Finally catching up to him, Embry tried to get him to explain but he was frantic – going on and on about how he shouldn't feel like this. Nothing ever felt like this. Embry didn't understand what he was saying but tried to get him calmed down and tell him what went wrong. He was floored when Jake told him the feelings that were flowing through his system. He was attracted to her deeply it sounded but he had never experienced anything like this before. How that was possible having had 2 main relationships and several lovers was confusing but true. Jake had never been intensely attracted to either girl just feeling enough to know that they needed him and that was enough for him. Embry shook his head. What about the lovers? Just filling a hole while he traveled? He was stunned. How was it his friend was so stunted emotionally? He decided there and then he would help his friend find himself emotionally so that he could experience what everyone should – LOVE!

Embry met back up with Angela the bonfire after seeing Jake all the way home. Between the two several things were decided. One Jake and Bella both were feeling the same about each other but both were extremely stunted in their emotional growth. Two they had the best friends in the world cause they would do everything in their power to bring the best people together for what they felt would be an amazing relationship. So started Operation Black Swan.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys it has taken so long. I had a brain freeze and couldn't come up with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. I am so excited to see how many people are following this story. Please review so that I know what to work on with the next chapter.

Chapter 4 – Interlude

Jake sat in the garage office trying to get 'Bella' off his mind. Embry told him who she was and now every time he closed his eyes, he saw those huge brown ones staring deep into his soul. His breathing increased when he thought of that beautiful blush that stole across her cheeks when their eyes met. This didn't even cover his dreams last night. He hadn't had a wet dream since puberty, but by God, he did last night, dreaming of that creamy, smooth skin and following the blush down her body. Damn, he felt himself harden just at the mere thought.

Bella was on her way to Jake's garage to get her 'oil change'. She had spent the night dreaming of those eyes burning deep into her soul, hands that laid fire along her skin, and plump lips nipping in all the right places. The heat in her body was driving her crazy. Edward had always joked that she was made of ice, but after her dreams, there was nothing cold in her body.

Jake was notified that there was a customer that needed an oil change but was requesting him to do it. Normally he only handled the more complex problems and most people knew this so this was a strange request. That is, until he looked at whom the customer was. It was her. Dear Lord, she looked better in the sunlight then in the moonlight. Her hair was pulled up and back from her face in a ponytail and he noticed she didn't wear makeup. He thought she didn't need it – her skin was smooth with freckles fluttering across her nose. Big, brown eyes stared at him widening when her breath quickened. Slowly the lovely blush started, running down her cheeks and slowly down her neck. He was curious to where the blush led too.

He stood there in the doorway and her breath caught. Dear God he was magnificent. Long powerful legs leading up to a tight rear; tapered hips V-ing up to a large, muscular chest; arms that looked strong enough to crush and hands bigger than her head. The man looked delicious as he stood there taking her in. Thank God he looked as affected as she was. It was a worry of hers that she was the only one that held this strange attraction. She needed him to be effected also. He needed to feel what she felt, the tightness in her chest trying to breath, the heat that settled deep in her core when she looked or thought of him. She needed him to need her as bad as she needed him. Never had she felt such powerful emotions and she refused to believe that this attraction was one sided.

All through the oil change, he felt her eyes on him, appraising him. Heat flooded his body and he felt himself harden. This was ridiculous; he had more control over himself then this. What was it about this slip of a woman that made him feel powerless but refreshed in his soul. His former relationships were passionate he thought. But never had he felt anything like this with them and he just met this woman. They barely spoke and all he wanted to do is haul her away and worship her body. She must be damaged in some way. Maybe she was narcotic, or crazy. Maybe she had annoying habits that would drive him crazy – leaving her clothes strung on the floor – dirty dishes in all rooms. Something so that he could talk his mind out of wanting her. He could conquer this – he would conquer this.

She left the garage with her heart in her hand. He rarely looked at her and barely said two words to her. This could not be possible. Never in her life had she felt such a rush of emotion by just looking at a person. She refused to believe that he wasn't interested. This could not be one sided. She needed him – somewhere deep in her soul told her that. This wasn't just a physical attraction – those she had experienced before – this was more. There was something in his soul calling to hers. She would break through his defenses and they would be together. She would stop at nothing to accomplish this. She would not lose him or the feelings that he produced.


End file.
